Have you ever noticed how much people are quick to criticize and slow to compliment? The other day I was on stand by for a flight home to LAX. The flight is overbooked. So what’s new? I let the attendant know my circumstance and I sit down to wait.
A young bully comes to the desk. He is a premier flyer - whatever that means - and not only does he want to be first on the standby list but he also wants first class. He lets the attendant know and then stands in front of the attendant and stares at him for the next half hour. Every 2-3 minutes he reminds the attendant of his status and his needs. He is like that kid in the back of the car who keeps asking “Are we there yet?” So annoying.
After about a half hour the guy at the desk motions me forward. I turned to the bully and let him know that really need to catch this flight - my mother is being honored at a dinner tonight. He responds, “like I care”. I was shocked. Who says that outloud? I wanted to respond - your mother would be ashamed of you. Instead, I hold my tongue; I do not want to get in a verbal match with this brat.
Time for the flight, the attendant hands the bully a first class ticket and he humphs, “finally!” As if? I know I am not getting on. I wonder if I had been ruder and more agressive, I would have gotten on the flight. I start to walk away. The attendant shouts out, HIRSCH. I look back at him and he holds a ticket high into the air.
I approach the desk and he smiles and tells me that I had it the entire time, that good behavior should be rewarded. He is right. Good behavior should be rewarded. I write down his name and position and tell him that US Airways will hear from me very soon and I board the plane.
Desperately needing time away from our ‘regular’ lives, I made plans for the family to escape to Palm Desert for the weekend after Thanksgiving. When I told the kids, they were ecstatic. Just the idea of going away together thrilled them. So we left on our trip to the desert filled with hope and good intentions.
The first night was a disaster. Our youngest (2) was so excited that she could not sleep - it was her first family vacation. Since we were all in one and half rooms, none of us slept. So the next morning got off to a bumpy start with three grumpy, tired children, one grumpy, tired me and one grumpy, tired husband. By the late morning Alia (the youngest) was still awake and I realizing we were not going to survive if she stayed up for three days straight.
So, I drove her back to LA to stay with my parents. Four hours of driving later, I was back at the hotel, exhausted and ready to collapse. But there was still the evening, when the older kids would be asleep and Jeff and I could have some time for ourselves. Ha! We ordered dinner and everyone was fast asleep by 7 pm. So much for day 1.
By the second day we were a little desperate - every one was trying to have fun. We swam, we ate, we sang, but something was not clicking. The hotel pools were packed with people, the food was mediocre and it was cold out. All I wanted to do on my weekend away was get away! I’ve written about my kid’s love of dogs here before and I thought that a dog movie would be perfect and so that night we went to see Bolt in 3D. Dogs! 3D! But taking a 6 year old and a 4 year old at their first 3D film was not so fun. The glasses hurt, the violent scenes more violent than normal. By 7 pm, we all crashed again. Day 2, down.
By the last day, I just wanted to get home. By now no one is expecting much; and then, a miracle. We head out to the pool and it’s empty. We start down the 60 ft water slide one by one. Finally, in a moment of daring, I ask the lifeguard if we can all slide down together. I was sure he’d say “no” - it had been that kind of weekend. But he said “yes.” For the next hour, over and over again, the four us went down that slide. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
Driving home, my husband and I talked about how our horrible, terrible, no-good vacation was saved in the last hour. Everyone was in a good mood. And the best part? The kids only remember is that last hour - all of us together, laughing.
It turns out dating my husband is crucial to our marriage. I traveled a ton the month of May promoting the book. My husband and I knew that it would be hectic but we never imagined how challenging it would be to our marriage. Not seeing and spending time with Jeff for the days I was gone was devastating. I missed him a ton. So when I got back last week after yet another long trip, I sent him and email and asked him on a date. I know it was not very traditional, but after 8 years of marriage I figured I could go a little outside of the box. He was surprised at first by my formal proposal - but excited. I made reservations at a great sushi place and got all dressed up in an outfit he had never seen. He is a guy, so I am never sure if he notices when I wear something new. But as we headed for the door, he remarked, wow you look great. Good start. At dinner, I talked, but I also spent a lot of time listening. For a moment, I even forgot that we have three kids. We were on a date - as if we were first getting to know each other. But it was better, deeper. I did not have to spend the whole dinner trying to figure out what he was thinking and if he would ask me out again. Instead, it was about having a moment to remember why we are so good together. Why I think he is the best man for me. Why I still think he is a hottie and why I am so lucky. The next day I asked him out again. Who knew that dating once you’re married could be so great.
I sat next to Sex and the City the day before it opened. I know that doesn’t make sense. Last week I attended the Jewish Book Council event. Over 3 days, almost 200 authors give 2 minute pitches about their book to an audience of bookers. Our seats were alphabetical. And for one of the first times in my life I was thrilled to no longer be a Zwelling (my maiden name) since I would have been the last person to speak! So I find my way to Hirsch on the chair right next Handler. Sitting next to me is Evan Handler. I have been living in outer space and I have not really seen Sex in the City (the tv show or the movie) and I have no idea who he is. I’ve been busy, and with 3 kids watch a lot of cartoons. People keep coming over to him asking for his autograph - a lot are men asking for their wives. (Yea, sure). He is courteous and obliges for each request. Right before the speeches start, I realize who he is and ask if he is bald Jewish guy from Sex and the City. Perhaps not the best opening. I tried to make small talk between authors - a clumsy attempt to apologize for a clumsy opening, but he did not seem very receptive. But when it was all said and done, he gave me the nod and said he like my talk. I gave him the words of encouragement for the film and his new book. He did not need it. That night at 12:01 am all the theaters showing Sex and the City were packed and most were sold out through the weekend. Maybe you will see him on his book tour. Word to the wise, don’t open with the bald, Jewish thing. Go for something like the sexiest naked man on TV. I think he would appreciate it more.
Have you ever noticed how much people are quick to criticize and slow to compliment? The other day I was on stand by for a flight home to LAX. The flight is overbooked. So what’s new? I let the attendant know my circumstance and I sit down to wait.
Desperately needing time away from our ‘regular’ lives, I made plans for the family to escape to Palm Desert for the weekend after Thanksgiving. When I told the kids, they were ecstatic. Just the idea of going away together thrilled them. So we left on our trip to the desert filled with hope and good intentions.
It turns out dating my husband is crucial to our marriage. I traveled a ton the month of May promoting the book. My husband and I knew that it would be hectic but we never imagined how challenging it would be to our marriage. Not seeing and spending time with Jeff for the days I was gone was devastating. I missed him a ton. So when I got back last week after yet another long trip, I sent him and email and asked him on a date. I know it was not very traditional, but after 8 years of marriage I figured I could go a little outside of the box. He was surprised at first by my formal proposal - but excited. I made reservations at a great sushi place and got all dressed up in an outfit he had never seen. He is a guy, so I am never sure if he notices when I wear something new. But as we headed for the door, he remarked, wow you look great. Good start. At dinner, I talked, but I also spent a lot of time listening. For a moment, I even forgot that we have three kids. We were on a date - as if we were first getting to know each other. But it was better, deeper. I did not have to spend the whole dinner trying to figure out what he was thinking and if he would ask me out again. Instead, it was about having a moment to remember why we are so good together. Why I think he is the best man for me. Why I still think he is a hottie and why I am so lucky. The next day I asked him out again. Who knew that dating once you’re married could be so great.
I sat next to Sex and the City the day before it opened. I know that doesn’t make sense. Last week I attended the Jewish Book Council event. Over 3 days, almost 200 authors give 2 minute pitches about their book to an audience of bookers. Our seats were alphabetical. And for one of the first times in my life I was thrilled to no longer be a Zwelling (my maiden name) since I would have been the last person to speak! So I find my way to Hirsch on the chair right next Handler. Sitting next to me is Evan Handler. I have been living in outer space and I have not really seen Sex in the City (the tv show or the movie) and I have no idea who he is. I’ve been busy, and with 3 kids watch a lot of cartoons. People keep coming over to him asking for his autograph - a lot are men asking for their wives. (Yea, sure). He is courteous and obliges for each request. Right before the speeches start, I realize who he is and ask if he is bald Jewish guy from Sex and the City. Perhaps not the best opening. I tried to make small talk between authors - a clumsy attempt to apologize for a clumsy opening, but he did not seem very receptive. But when it was all said and done, he gave me the nod and said he like my talk. I gave him the words of encouragement for the film and his new book. He did not need it. That night at 12:01 am all the theaters showing Sex and the City were packed and most were sold out through the weekend. Maybe you will see him on his book tour. Word to the wise, don’t open with the bald, Jewish thing. Go for something like the sexiest naked man on TV. I think he would appreciate it more.
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