Sherre Hirsch

I have a ritual. Every Sunday morning I am in town I go to Chad Hamrin’s yoga class at 7:30 am. And every week the same people come because no one would ever get up that early on a Sunday unless he is an insane yoga devotee. So every Sunday, I spend one and half hours in these painful positions which eventually calm my mind, my nervous system and prepare me for the week ahead.

Except every Sunday when I get out of class there are about 80 people waiting for the next class. Since there is only room for about 60 students, these yogis are anything but serene. Just to exit my class requires laser focus and intention.

And the other day as I struggled to get out the door, in total frustration, I turned to the teacher of the waiting class and said, “Would you get control of your students!” He looked at me like I was insane.

Sure enough, the next Wednesday I see the same teacher I had snapped at entering the class I am about to take. I am embarrassed and uncomfortable. Does he recognize me? I turn to apologize but he disappears into the bathroom. Well,  I think to myself, maybe I don’t need to say anything. But a minute later I turn to get my blankets and we are, again, face to face.

Stammering,  I apologize for Sunday. He has no idea what I am talking about or who I am. After all, he teaches huge classes all week long. I reintroduce myself, remind him of the situation and ask for his forgiveness once more. Now he remembers. He smiles and says thank you. “I accept your apology.”

At that moment, I had a flash thought to excuse my behavior. “Well, I said that because… “and then I paused.  Who was I kidding? My instruction to him was out of line and my task was to make amends without excusing my behavior.

And a few minutes I was resting on my mat feeling incredibly relieved and relaxed. For the past four days, I had been obsessively thinking about me, him, the situation. I finally felt clear to think about what really mattered.

I am still in awe how just the words “I am sorry” can change my entire disposition and demeanor. Try it, let me know what you think.

Desperately needing time away from our ‘regular’ lives, I made plans for the family to escape to Palm Desert for the weekend after Thanksgiving. When I told the kids, they were ecstatic. Just the idea of going away together thrilled them. So we left on our trip to the desert filled with hope and good intentions.

The first night was a disaster. Our youngest (2) was so excited that she could not sleep - it was her first family vacation. Since we were all in one and half rooms, none of us slept.  So the next morning got off to a bumpy start with three grumpy, tired children, one grumpy, tired me and one grumpy, tired husband.  By the late morning Alia (the youngest) was still awake and I realizing we were not going to survive if she stayed up for three days straight.

So, I drove her back to LA to stay with my parents.  Four hours of driving later, I was back at the hotel, exhausted and ready to collapse. But there was still the evening, when the older kids would be asleep and Jeff and I could have some time for ourselves.  Ha! We ordered dinner and everyone was fast asleep by 7 pm.  So much for day 1.

By the second day we were a little desperate - every one was trying to have fun.  We swam, we ate, we sang, but something was not clicking.  The hotel pools were packed with people, the food was mediocre and it was cold out.  All I wanted to do on my weekend away was get away!  I’ve written about my kid’s love of dogs here before and I thought that a dog movie would be perfect and so that night we went to see Bolt in 3D.  Dogs!  3D!  But taking a 6 year old and a 4 year old at their first 3D film was not so fun. The glasses hurt, the violent scenes more violent than normal. By 7 pm, we all crashed again.  Day 2, down.

By the last day, I just wanted to get home.  By now no one is expecting much; and then, a miracle.  We head out to the pool and it’s empty.  We start down the 60 ft water slide one by one. Finally, in a moment of daring, I ask the lifeguard if we can all slide down together.  I was sure he’d say “no”  - it had been that kind of weekend.  But he said “yes.”  For the next hour, over and over again, the four us went down that slide.  I have never laughed so hard in my life.

Driving home, my husband and I talked about how our horrible, terrible, no-good vacation was saved in the last hour.  Everyone was in a good mood.  And the best part?  The kids only remember is that last hour - all of us together, laughing.

Last week as I was preparing for Thanksgiving, I thought about the moment when we all  go around the table and say what we are thankful for.   And even though we do it every year, everyone looks surprised when I ask the question. (Perhaps they hope I’ll forget?). And every year we go around the table and everyone says the same thing - family, health, friends, so by the fourth person people keep saying that the person before them took their answer.

So this year I did it differently.  This year was about the specifics. Thankful for your health, you say…I wanted details.

This year I am thankful to Dr. Benjamin for becoming a specialist in Lasix eye surgery and changing the way I see.

I am thankful to my husband during these very trying past months. I have been distracted and often have neglected him. I am thankful that he is a patient, kind and forgiving husband and that I get to be his wife.

I am thankful for Rachael. She has taught me how to be a better friend. She listens without judgment. She reminds me to laugh when I can’t.

We’ve been getting off too easily with these one word answers so this year we went deeper.  I knew that protests were in the works so I came up with a solution: I had 3×5 cards available for anyone who would rather not say their thanks out loud.  We could gather them up and read them all anonymously.  But we didn’t need them.  Once the group got started  - yes, I had to go first - everyone wanted to talk.  People were glad not to have to say thanks for only the big things.  Yes, we were all grateful for family, but everyone had someone special they wanted to talk about.

I don’t yet know how I’ll add to this next year.  But I do know that after this year’s success no one will protest.