Sherre Hirsch

I love the Oscars.

I like all the big awards shows: the Emmys, the Golden Globes… My mother and I have a tradition, if we are not together then at each commercial we call each other and discuss the award, the speech and, of course, the clothes. So this year, as I was watching the Golden Globes, I was left speechless on the phone.
An actor who shall remain nameless (I do not want to speak Lashon Hara - wicked tongue) was glorifying drugs from the podium. I know that it has happened before. I am not that naïve. But for some reason this year when he started with “How cool is it that I was just doing cocaine in the bathroom with a so and so,” I was disgusted.
Why this year did it bother me more than ever?
Is it because the tradition will also soon include my daughter and I talking at the commercials?   I can’t let her watch this kind of talk. Or is it that an actor is paid to act. I do not want to hear about his illegal antics.  If the drug thing is just part of the act then it is inappropriate and if it is not, then it is even more so.
We all know that we live in a society where our celebrities are our children’s heros.   And as a mother, I never want my child to see someone they look up to glamorizing drug use.

A brief message to the upcoming Oscar winners: When you win, you are being rewarded for your acting. Be gracious, humble and brief. Most importantly keep your illicit activities to yourself.   If you have to keep acting, to do that, keep acting.  My kids are watching.

Sometimes when our son Emet is angry he begins to speak about himself in the third person.  And when he’s really upset, we don’t even get called Mom and Dad.  “Emet is feeling angry at Jeff and Sherre.”   Eden also has her own way of venting at us.  Her imaginary friends, Bunky and Maya often feel upset at Jeff and Sherre. Luckily Alia is barely talking so we are not the object of her disdain at the moment  - at least verbally.

I know that for a six and four year old, getting anry is can be confusing.   Telling us directly may be too hard, so it’s not me, it’s “Emet” or “Bunky.”  They worry we’ll be angry or that they will get in trouble.  And while we keep telling them that they are allowed to be angry and that we are ok with how they’re feeling, they don’t quite believe us yet.

And really, who can blame them.  The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and she was giving me some “constructive” criticism.  I’ve been a little short on patience lately with my mom’s illness and a lot of travel for work.  Could I just say, “Sherre is feeling like she wants you to shut up.”  Would my friend say that I am entitled to be annoyed and that she is ok with it?

Could I blame my kids?  They learn from me, couldn’t I have learned this from them?  Would it cause a laugh or destroy a friendship? Don’t answer. I know the answer.  Maybe that is part of the difference of being an adult and being a child. You know when to hold back.  If you have to let it out, you can’t blame your imaginary friend or third self.  You have to own it.

Given the craziness of the past few weeks, I’ve had to own more than a few things - things I have said, things I have done.  I’ve started to being sentences by apologizing for anything inappropriate I might accidentally say.  Maybe it’s time for a few imaginary friends of my own.